My. Goddess. It's enough to make you superstitious when it seems every time you're preparing for a holiday, they come along and devastate some more woodlot with whatever number of infernal machines. Accepting that I don't like to ascribe to malice what may have a simpler explanation, sometimes I really do feel like I'm holding back the stupid by some force of stressing out. *breathing.* Seriously considering a long-overdue retreat to a temple I know of, unfry my nerves so I can be doing something more useful than sitting around blaming myself. Which it seems near every priest and priestess on the Eastern seaboard has noted is a bad habit of mine. They say there's a certain number of Buddhas out there holding up the world... And then there's the amateurs. This Samhain, I particularly pray to Them What Bring Clarity. And Whoever Minds the Gaskets On Dodgy Adrenal Glands. :) Mighty Ones and Ancestors be with our bestest selves. :)

Wow, it's been... Almost a year. Funny, I'd thought I posted more recently than that. :)

I suppose, an update should follow. :)

Ok, another signs-of-life post, but, I was tempted by a friend's journal to retake Beliefnet's Belief-O-Matic quiz.

Here it is:

( Read more... )

Should I email the producers of 'Jackass' and suggest they try going to the Bowery, pose as fursuited prostitutes, and see who drives up, or would that be a) Not ok, or b) Moot cause I don't know they aren't making that show anymore.


Decisions, decisions.

"You with your innocence and grace...

There's still some pride and dignity to a world in decline......"
-the Pretenders


Actually, not a bad new year, by the looks of things.

Keep the despair at bay. :)

Blessed be. :)

To all, and stuff. :) BB. :)

If you believe, clap your hands.

I've really got to do something to shake this lingering depression. I've just been having trouble getting going since I was last ill.... and had an anxiety attack recently which set me back, attitudewise.

I just decided it was time to hack off some hair, not exactly impulsive, as I'd started to develop that 'lupus halo' of scraggly hairs cause it'd gotten long again, and I'd been wanting to a while, today I was like, "OK, must stopp this damage, now.": I was a bit too aggressive, I think. Basically miscalculated what'd really fall to my shoulders. But, well, Ok. I know someone who can fix the irregularities. Hope sweetie doesn't think it's too horrible, but she's probably been tired of landing on it all the time.

And, well, I had to do something.

I hope I'll not regret this.

Realized it's been a while.

So, it's a post... :)

Hi, all. It's been a while since I posted.

Things are going reasonably OK...

The photo projects I'd been talking about have been proceeding reasonably well, though I've hit a bit of a creative slump, possibly one of those things corresponding to that Mercury retrograde period, which seems to have hit everyone around here pretty hard, at least in terms of people being in shells, ...when it lifted, it was like everyone came out at once. Made for a pleasant walk around town. :)

I've been having some depression symptoms, really. Not moodwise, so much as attention-and-motivationwise. Spring/summer came and brought with it some severe allergies, which killed a lot of my momentum, but, hey.

New friends. Lots of them. I go into town and see all kinds of people I know, ...Gods, that's good.

As for photo *stuff,* I'm over the hump. I got gear. Just need a scanner and to fill out/ pad my film and chemical stock, and I'm in business here. (Our remoteness means you cn't just run out to get things at need, so I need my personal stock to be well-laid-in.)

My old medium format camera, thank the Gods, checks out, after some replacing of thirty-year-old light seals. Lovely, lovely machine.

There's always more you can use with stuff like this, but I have what I need to function. *deep breath* Decided to take the time to chill on the austerity-for-the-art this month, especially cause of the creative slump and the fact winter'll be back before we know it. Besides, one thing I've discovered is that the light just isn't so interesting here in summer. I don't really feel to have missed all that much, photographically. I've been more interested in putting in fast film and hitting the town streets at dusk and photographing the kids that hang out there.

No real idea what to do with such images, but that's where they are.

OK, not so uninspired as I feel, maybe.

Soon will be able to post some of my film work here, anyway. The scanner has been waiting, cause that kind of thing is improving on a constant basis, making things cheaper and better. :) The digital hasn't been getting so much attention with all this hastily-assembled film gear. I like to know my stuff till it knows me. I've discovered, after trying to cover a local parade that my wonderful little halfway-to-DSLR digital camera will require me to adapt my style of covering events till something more suitable for such duty becomes affordable. Just too slow when everything's fluid. I ended up pulling out the film camera and blazing away like I used to. It's a digital age, but, I still like the old ways better. :)

Feels good to do that sometimes, even if no one's actually sent you. :)

Anyway... Saw Harry Potter last night with some of the local Pagans, (actually, lotsa Heathens. Interesting to be the token Wiccanish type, but we get along great. ) Good time. I actually didn't like the book so much, but it made for pretty good film. :)

And a merry Midsummer night to all. :)

Just spent the time with some local Heathens on the shore of Lake Superior, had a cookout and a very down-to-earth blot.... good folks. Whole thing made me happy.

Saw the Sun set over the water... Gods, how rarely have I seen *that.* Wonderful. :)

Happy Solstice. :)

So, hey. . I have finally gotten back what I believe is the last of the old rolls of film I had kicking around undeveloped for, in some cases, years, ...things which in quantity I hadn't wanted or been able to spend the money on them. Some survived the undeveloped time better than others... but, there's still some interesting stuff, anyway. Some of the Cauldron Farm folks, and for some reason, a great many of a dog that I can't seem to remember the name of, at least. :) Interesting older stuff, there: next month, a scanner, (then we'll be basically ready for business, here....and some of you guys might be amused to see some of the results, faded images as some of them are.

I've been hurting a lot lately, thus, not terribly talkative, but... m medium format camera is... on the way! An older Mamiya model. Looking forward to trying to get some work of that sort out there. I can do some bigger enlargements and events and the like. Hopefully, it'll check out.

Pretty close to my methods as they stand.... Must remember to develop this later. :)

Ok, so I haven't been posting too much. Head full of photo things, mostly, lots of scouring Ebay for useful things and oddments to get the shooting end squared away. (A big problem here is you really have to send away for darn near *everything.* I've just put in a big (to me) order with a store that'll get my film developing end of things good to go, and some memory and batteryage to enable my little digital wonder-machine to keep going for a full day's shooting. Stuff that if I ordered a bit at a time would add up to pretty significant shipping, and a couple of items I could chase around Ebay for a very long time. :) ) It's a good thing I'm not a real gadget-and-lots-of-gear-dependent type: having the experience to know what you do and don't need helps.

Not that it ever really ends, once you're doing the 'photo lifestyle,' but I'm a couple of major items (really a few hundred bucks) away from up and running for a few kinds of hopefully-self-sustainable operations. A paying job or a sold print would probably really expedite things on that end, but the goal is mostly, having some *work* I can do, even if it's necessarily of part-time nature. I may not be able to hope to turn around and start supporting *myself* with this, but in the future, who knows. At least I should be able to support the *venture,* really.

And I have inspiration for a Big Project to do, at least if I can be set up well by the time we move on from this place. Don't want to jinx it with details.

I'm starting to feel that leaving in a few years might end up being a bit of a wrench, actually. I like this place as I have few others.

For now, sharpening up some skills and working on my stamina.

Been busy a bit... running around with cameras. Seem to have caught too much sun in my restless walkings-around, though, so I'm hanging out.

Good news: The VA finally had to approve the pentacle for Wiccan vets' grave markers. It's a good thing. :)

OK, so, I feel pretty accomplished, now. :) Got this winder for my new film camera that I ordered, (Skor is great: cost about hald to a third what I was expecting to end up paying a bit down the line: while the device isn't absolutely essential under most circumstances, it's very in keeping with my shooting style. I've been waiting for a rig like this a loong time. :) ) Just waiting on one more item, a relatilvely-minor part eyepiece ring the camera was missing, and she'll be set up just right. Camera now has a name, and things are happy. Continuing morale boost of being able to get my gear up to speed. I'll have to get hold of a negative scanner before anyone's likely to see any results on here, but it's good.

It turns out there's a *lot* of stuff that used to be out of reach that I can conceivably afford, depending which way ambition turns. If I can get really good, maybe I can do what I kind of thought I never would again and do weddings.

Yeah, it's been preoccupying me more than a bit. It's a precious part of my life that had to be all-but-abandoned so long ago. That was always my dream job, before exigencies of life and the big shamanic trip took over... I wanted to shoot for National Geographic. Probably won't be globetrotting with Hasselblads in the Himalayas, but maybe we can work a little Life magazine in. :)

It's been occuring to me, though, that it'd be really great to do a project just on Pagans, these days. Limited material, these days, but the pictures that make the media tend to kind of rankle. Wrong eyes. And not for us, ...not for our kids, certainly. Someone might be wanting these images.

OK, so I haven't had a great deal to post, unless you like photo-minutiae, but I thought I'd tag. :)

I am F-1'ed. :)

Twenty three or more years I've wanted one of these things, and here it is.

This is a good tool.

My hands know what to do.